Fate's Hand
by Silencing Hate
Summary: AU. The hands of many touch their lives as Hermione deals with great loss and Severus learns what it means to live once more. The two are thrust together and must learn together.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Anyone up for a foray into AU? Good, because this story was started before HBP and is decidedly AU, as you will see within the first chapter. The story is partly complete and I have ideas about what will happen, so I have a vision of where this is going. I hope you enjoy the first installment and continue to read my little foray into the HP world.

Disclaimer: Not rich enough to own this.

Fate. It's such a funny thing. It rules our lives, our hearts, our bodies, and our souls. It changes what should never be into what feels most right and perfect in the world. The dark and the light of what is and what can never be turn into a blend of the two when fate gets involved. It changes the way we think, the way we reason, and the way we behave. It changes our allies, and it changes our enemies, and it redefines our friends. Whenever fate is concerned, we grow stronger and better through whatever hell it throws our way. And sometimes, on rare occasions, it tosses a gift into our laps. The only thing that fate asks of us is to open our eyes and accept the good with the bad.

Everyone's been told about fate, some believe in it, and others don't. I for one am someone that doesn't often believe, but on occasion, fate decides to remind me of its existence. Tonight was one of those nights. The darkness that shrouds me now as I sit huddled in my cloak on a bench is nothing compared to the darkness in my soul, but my soul would be considered as bright as the sun compared to his. Well, then again, anyone's soul would be considered that of a saint's compared to his soul. So, the fact that my soul is light compared to his really says nothing about the state that I find my self in currently.

I stare into the night, wishing I were anywhere but here, wishing that everything was different. That what had just happened was some huge nightmare. But, as I said, fate chose today, or should I say tonight, to remind me of its horrific, twisted, and vindictive existence. My heart twists as a picture of earlier flashes through my mind.

_A tall girl stood, leaning against a desk on the front row in a dark, cold dungeon class room. On the stone desk next to her sat a large box. She was starting to get impatient. He had told her to be here twenty minutes ago, and, "don't be late." Yet, here she was, leaning against the stone desk, waiting for him to show his hooked nose to the world._

_A soft tapping was heard at the door, and the girl looked up as an old wizened man in midnight blue robes walked in._

_"Miss Granger?" The wizard looked surprised at seeing the girl in the room. "What are you doing here?"_

_"Professor Dumbledore!" The girl seemed to be in shock at seeing the old man walk in. "I was waiting for Professor Snape, sir. He asked me to be here twenty minutes ago with some potions ingredients from Professor Sprout, but when I arrived, the classroom was empty, and the door to his office was locked."_

_The old man nodded. He had a pensive expression on his face, as if deciding what to do, or what to say, next._

_"Miss Granger, come with me." The man walked out of the room, expecting the girl to follow, which she did after retrieving the box with potions supplies in it. They walked through the drafty, poorly lit hall and up into the main hall of the castle before sweeping up the stairs and stopping before an old, stone gargoyle. "Peppermint sticks." The password muttered, the stone gargoyle jumped to life and revealed a spiral staircase into a circular room. Once the pair entered the large room at the top of the case, the older wizard walked behind the heavy, elaborately carved wooden desk and seated himself in the large chair, gesturing for the girl to do the same thing. She sat in a large, plush chair, nerves on end, perceptibly aware that something was wrong. _

_"Miss Granger, before I say anything, I need you to promise me you won't say a word of this to anyone, not even to Misters Potter and Weasley. Can you promise me that?"_

_The girl looked at the professor, trying to decide if she really wanted to know something she couldn't tell her best friends. "I promise. I won't tell anyone."_

_The man looked at her, his twinkling blue eyes into her honey-brown ones. Seeming satisfied with what he saw, he nodded._

_"Miss Granger, I need you help."_

_The girl stared at the man in front of her. "Professor, why would you ask for my help?"_

_"Because, you're the only one that can save him."_

_"Save him? Save who?"_

_"I wish I could tell you who he is, but I can't."_

_"Then, can you tell me who, or what, I am supposed to save him from?"_

_"I need you to save him from Voldemort, and himself. Miss Granger, a man's life is at stake, and I fear it's my fault. I can't tell you more, I wish I could. Miss Granger, please, will you help me?"_

_"When you say 'save him from Voldemort' what exactly do you mean?" The girl asked after remaining pensively silent for several minutes._

_"As I said Miss Granger, I can't tell you anything more. However, I must reiterate that an innocent man's life is at stake."_

_The girl's eyes flashed dangerously, her obvious will to live and love of life causing her to become aggressive as his subtle words clicked in her head. "You sent an innocent man to death?"_

_"I'm afraid you are correct. Though I'm not proud of it, I may well have sent this man to a brutal death at the hands of Voldemort. However, if he survives tonight, I fear that he will need to be saved from himself." The man stared into the distance, lost in another world. His strong voice lowered, as if talking to himself, "Although, he has promised me many times that he would not take his life, somehow, I don't believe him. I can't believe him. Poor boy, doesn't even believe his life is worth saving." The man exhaled a long breath filled with regret, sorrow, and deep pain, before he turned to face the girl once more. "Please, Miss Granger, if he returns tonight, will you save him from himself?"_

_Slowly, as if weighing her options, the girl nodded. "After all you have told me tonight, how could I not?"_

_"Thank you Miss Granger, you have no idea how much this means to me."_

_The girl gave a weak smile. "Professor, one last question, how am I going to help this man when I don't even know his name?"_

_"When he returns this evening, I will send an owl to you. More will be revealed then."_

_The girl's eyes narrowed sharply, but she nodded in acquiesce. "If that's all Headmaster, I have school work that needs attending to." The Headmaster nodded before the girl stood and left the office. _

_A short time later, she entered a small room. It wasn't spacious or lavish, furnished only with a four poster bed, a desk and matching chair, a small bookcase, and a wardrobe. There was little space to walk; the furniture filled most of the room. Deep red velvet curtains fell around the bed. They looked well used; the curtains on the bed's left side, the side facing the window, were still closed from when the sun was first out that morning. The bookcase was filled with well worn volumes, ranging in title from _Moste Potente Potions_ to _Philosophy: A Guide to Greater Knowledge _to_ James II: A Study in Kingship_. More books were found on the desk along with stacks of scrolls, several bottles of ink filled to various levels, some quills, and a piece of stale bread._

_The girl sat down, shrugging off her black robes, and pulled a book to her as she lifted a quill from the cluttered desk. Flipping pages of the book, she dipped her quill in a bottle of ink and pulled a roll of parchment off the top of the stack. Having found the page she was looking for, the girl flicked her eyes over the parchment before placing her quill on the parchment and returning to the book. Methodically, the girl took notes from the book, pausing only to turn a page or dip her quill into the ink. The room was silent except for the sounds of her breathing and note taking. The precise handwriting on the page grew into narrow, perfectly spaced lines traveling down the parchment with information the girl deemed important._

_A soft tap sounded at the window, causing her to falter a moment as she turned the page. She paused, trying to decide if she had actually heard something. Shaking her head, she returned to the book. _

_TAP! TAP!_

_The girl looked up. This time, she couldn't deny that she had heard something. Gently placing her quill on the table, she closed her book and crossed to the windows. It was raining outside, causing whatever was outside her window to blur. As soon as the window opened, an owl flew in, spraying the girl with water droplets. Shaking her head, the girl walked to her chair where the snow grey owl was holding out its leg. As soon as she had untied the letter, the owl flew back through the window and into the dark, rainy night. _

_However, the girl hadn't even noticed the owl's departure. As soon as she had the letter free, she had begun reading it. The few lines on the page were followed by Professor Dumbledore's intricate signature at the bottom. The girl grabbed a long, heavy black cloak from her wardrobe and threw it over her shoulders as she hurried from the small room. _

_She walked stealthily down the hall, urgency nagging her the entire way. Opening the main doors as quietly as she could, she stepped outside. The rain had lessened since earlier that day, but the girl was still immediately soaked to the bone as she closed the castle doors. Her unruly brown hair was sopping, the brown locks curling into tight, springy ringlets. She ran down the path that began at the base of the steps, pulling her hood over her head in a futile attempt to stay dry. The darkness enveloped her in its silence as she rushed to meet the headmaster, as she rushed to aid a man that had almost killed another human through an act of folly she would never understand, could never understand._

_The old man looked up from his position on the ground as she neared his crouching form. This night, the twinkle she had always seen in his eyes was missing. It was replaced with a look of desperation, a look of pure hopelessness, and, though it shocked her to the core, a look of resignation. Resignation to whatever pains the world and, though she had yet to recognize it as such, fate threw at him._

_ "Miss Granger."_

_"Headmaster." She inclined her head slightly, annoyed at the waste of time on formalities when a man's life was possibly on the line._

_The man gestured with his hand to the left, to a dark mass on the ground. "This, Miss Granger, is your charge." She glanced at the form on the ground. It was clothed in black from head to toe. Where should have been a face, was a mask of ghastly silver, with two slits for eyeholes and a small circular hole that was barely visible for breathing. _

_The girl let out a small, almost inaudible, gasp and huddled farther into her cloak. "A Death Eater?"_

_The man shook his head. "No, Miss Granger, an ex-Death Eater. He is a man that risks everything, including his life, in order to gain information for our cause. A man that, if we don't help soon, could die here and now, all alone in this the world."_

_Dumbledore's words spurred the girl's mind into action, her promise to help save this man returned to her mind forcefully. She knelt next to the man and reached into her pocket. She drew out a long piece of wood. Muttering words beneath her breath, she brought the hand holding the wand up until it was parallel to the ground. As her wand moved up, the still form on the ground raised into the air until it was level with her hand. After another muttered word, the witch took a step forward, a step back toward the castle. _

_"Miss Granger."_

_"Headmaster?"_

_"Where are you taking him?"_

_"Back to the castle. Where else?"_

_"I don't know." The girl glanced sharply at him. What had happened to the steadfast man she had known the last six and half years? "Miss Granger?" She stopped a few steps from where she had been the first time he uttered her name, an audible sigh following the second delay._

_"Yes, Headmaster?"_

_"Don't take him to the hospital wing."_

_"Yes, sir."_

_She took another step toward the castle, pausing to make sure that the aged man was finished, and then set off at a fast pace, the body floating beside her, and a silent, pensive headmaster trailing slowly behind her._

_The trip to the castle was uneventful, both too wrapped up in their own dreadful thoughts to notice the other. When they reached the door, the girl opened it and stepped into the dark hall. The man followed the girl in and stopped beside her. Glancing out of the corner of her eye, the girl, and the body, went up the main stairs and back to her room. _

_When she reached the room, she laid the man on her bed, determined to do all she could for her nameless charge. As she tried to make him comfortable, she noticed his mask had loosened. Gently, she removed the mask. As she placed the mask on her nightstand, the man stirred from the sudden onslaught of cold air on his face. His long, silky hair fell across his face, hiding his features from the girl's prying eyes._

_She raised her wand once again, intent on healing the man as well as she could. Muttered words under her breath were followed by small bursts of various colored light over the mangled body. Whatever torture he had gone through, and it had probably been literal torture, had left his body, and probably his mind, in a mixture of cuts, bruises, and blood, not leaving a patch of skin untouched. _

_Finally, he was healed in all places, but one. The girl's hand was mere inches from his face, the one feature that would reveal the man's identity. The longer she was around this man, the more her instincts told her she knew him. A deep breath and a slightly visible shake of her hand were the only things that gave away her nervousness._

_The slightest touch of her fingertips to his soft, black hair moved the locks from his face just as his eyes fluttered open. Deep black obsidian eyes met honey-brown ones as a soft gasp of recognition escaped her lips. _

A/N:

_James II: A Study in Kingship_ is a real book, written by John Miller and published in 1989. Unfortunately, I have not had the opportunity to read it, and so I have no idea about its quality. I selected the book because the title seemed relevant.

I hope you enjoyed this. As always, feedback is more than welcome and I will do my best to keep you entertained. - SH


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be.

Damn Fate. And damn Dumbledore while you're at it. Not only do I now have to attend classes with that greasy git, but I also have to figure out a way to save the dark bastard from himself, whatever that means. And to top it off, I can't tell Harry and Ron, not that they'd be any help. They both hate him with an undying passion. I'll probably be added to that hate list if they ever learn of my "charge."

I let a small sigh escape my lips. I told Dumbledore I'd help him, and I'm not about to go back on my word. As I sit in the stands of my sanctuary, and least favorite place, I let the darkness posses my hatred and depression. I let the darkness become part of me. Just as it consumed him those many years ago, I let it consume me, but I retain a grain of self-control that when the time comes, will return me to reality, a grain that will save me from his dark path and, hopefully, prove to be his salvation.

I glance at my watch. I have two hours until the sun rises, two hours until I have to face the world, two hours until I have to face him, two hours until fate will place us in the same room, two hours until I have to pick up the remnants of my life, and, three hours until I have a meeting with Fate's meddling human incarnate. For now, I will allow myself this dark time, but, in two hours, I will go back and pretend that everything is normal. Somehow, I know I will cope, but currently I have no idea how. For now, I will submit myself to darkness until morning's light comes.

~~FH~~

"How am I supposed to save him? I'm seventeen years old! Not to mention the fact that, last time I checked, he won't let me anywhere near him except in classes!" I'm practically yelling- yelling at my Headmaster, no less. If I'd been anyone else, I probably would have been expelled by now, but I'm not. I'm Hermione Granger, Head Girl of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the famous Harry Potter's best friend, and Albus Dumbledore's chosen savior for _him_. So, instead of expelling me, he chooses to remind me of my task.

"Miss Granger, I know that I forced you into this, but can you look me in the eye, right now, and tell me that you regret the decision you made?"

I think for a moment about all that I know about this world, about all that I know about the man in front of me, and about _him._ I think about Harry and Ron, the Weasleys, my Professors, and, once again, I think about _him_. Damn Dumbledore! Slowly, I look up at him. I look into those blasted twinkling eyes of his and, once again, I think about _him, _I think of the bane of my existence, I think of those dark obsidian eyes I saw last night, I think of the knowledge hidden behind that shadowy, cynical attitude, and I know that I would have accepted Dumbledore's plea for help last night no matter what the consequences.

All of this passes through my head in less than a minute. The knowledge that my heart is in control right now makes me angry, but I refuse to show it. I can't lie to this man, just as I can't lie to myself, to my heart. "No, Professor, I can't. I can't look you in the eye and say that I regret it, because if I'm honest with myself, I would have helped you if you had told me who he was when you first asked."

"Miss Granger, you truly have the heart of a Gryffindor." I scowl; I can't help it. All this sentimentality is not helping anyone. "Of course, the more I learn of you, the more I think you would have fit in well with Slytherin House as well." A smile crosses his face and the twinkle in his eye is more pronounced than ever. I can't help but roll my eyes.

"As much as I appreciate your sentiments," I say with as much dryness and sarcasm as I can muster, "I still have a problem. How in the world am I, the Gryffindor, know-it-all, Head Girl, going to help him?" I can't help but punctuate the statement with a glare. Dumbledore's optimism is really starting to get to me.

"Well, Miss Granger, I have solved the little problem of getting you two together." He pauses slightly, and I can't help but wonder if there might not be a double meaning to his statement. "With the help..." again with the pause that makes me wonder just what he did and how, "...of Professor McGonagall, it has come to my attention that you were going to seek an apprenticeship after graduating from here. Is this correct?"

I nod slowly, almost afraid to see where this is going. There is a feeling in the pit of my stomach that whatever he is about to say cannot be good. Every nerve in my body is on edge, screaming at me to run away before I get in too deep, but I don't. I'm going to stick this out and make the best of it, no matter what happens.

"I've thought long about our enigma and after several... discussions with Severus, I have convinced him to take you as an apprentice."

I stare at him for what seems like hours, but can't have been more than a few seconds. "Apprentice, sir? To Professor Snape?" The initial shock of the whole idea is starting to wear off, and I put voice to my first thought. "How? He's never taken an apprentice in all his time at Hogwarts! Probably in is whole life, for that matter!"

"For the how, you'll have to ask Professor McGonagall. After I first put forth the suggestion to her, and the initial surprise wore off, she supported the idea quite vehemently. I myself was rather, shall we say, off balance when she supported it. In fact, she convinced him to take you, though I'll probably never know how."

I knew why McGonagall supported him. It was because of me. A few weeks ago, mere hours after the Sorting was over, I had asked her if she thought there was any way I could convince Snape into accepting me as an apprentice after graduation. That Dumbledore had just suggested it to me was insane. It has been my dream to work with a Potions Master, and now, here, the chance is being given to me and I am unsure. "What exactly would being his apprentice entail?" It is a stupid question. I know exactly what it means, but I need time to sort out my thoughts. It was a defense for me, ask questions so that you can think longer, a habit I had picked up in Potions my first year.

"Well, Miss Granger, first off you could obviously no longer attend regular classes here. Professor Snape would be your sole teacher. Your primary study would be potions. Of course, because you would no longer be attending regular classes, you would have to give up your position as Head Girl."

I nod slightly. I already know all this; however, I still don't see exactly how being Snape's apprentice will solve the problem of getting closer to him. Sure, I'd work with only him, but he'd still hate me.

"Along with this, you'll have to take your NEWTS before you can start the apprenticeship."

A smile steals its way onto my face. I could take the NEWTS tomorrow and pass with excellent marks in all my subjects. The more I think about it, the more appeal the idea has to me; this is the chance of a lifetime. Snape is brilliant, even if he is ascetic and sharp tongued. But, still, something won't let me accept this at face value; I just don't have any idea what it is, which bothers me even more.

"And, Miss Granger, you will have to share his quarters. Your parents will have to approve, of course. Also, Professor Snape will become your legal guardian until you are twenty-one or complete your training."

I nod. Everything is falling into place in my mind. As long as I'm his apprentice, he can't get rid of me and, as long as he can't get rid of me, I'm free to become closer to him. I only see three problems with the plan: convincing my parents, telling Harry and Ron without starting the wizarding equivalent to a nuclear war, and, the hardest of them all, living with Snape for the next four years.

"Is it really necessary to tell my parents?"

"Unless you're eighteen, I'm afraid it is."

Damn! I'm not eighteen, I'm barely seventeen. "I just turned seventeen," I mumble in a quietly reluctant voice.

The Headmaster looks pensive for a moment before he nods. "Is your house connected to the Floo Network?"

"Yes, sir." I had connected my house to the network after our fifth year.

"You can use my fireplace to talk to your parents tonight if you would like to. If they agree tonight, a Ministry official will be here Friday for you to take your NEWTS. I will inform all of your teachers. You have until Friday to prepare for the test. Does that sound acceptable Miss Granger?"

"Of course, Professor." He stands up and walks to the door as if to leave.

"The fireplace is through the door on your left, last door on the left. I will be back soon. Take as long as you need with your parents." He walks out of the door, leaving me alone in his office to tell my parents I am submitting myself to guardianship and teaching by the most hated professor in the school. And why? Because I agreed to help a man survive himself _and_ Voldemort. Well, this is going to be a pleasant conversation with my parents.

A long sigh escapes my lips as I stand to go into the back rooms of the Headmaster's office. "Damn Dumbledore!" I walk through the long maze of halls that lead to my destination, that lead to my fate.

I stand in the backroom of Dumbledore's office, facing the fireplace. I am sure that the room is full of interesting artifacts, both Muggle and Wizarding, that my headmaster has collected, but at the moment, I can't care less. A thousand thoughts are running through my mind, the most important concerning my parents. How am I supposed to explain to my _very_ Muggle parents that I'm sacrificing my last year of schooling in order to save a man I loathe? They won't understand that his very existence could save us all- I know they won't- but there's nothing for it. I have to tell them. I have to make them understand. I have to get their permission. I don't have a choice anymore.

I reach a hand up to the mantle to grab a handful of Floo powder. As my hand closes around the grainy substance, my thoughts are in shambles.

"Here goes nothing." I mutter under my breath and throw powder into the fireplace. "Granger Residence," I call to the fireplace after I step in. I see a blur of colors and hear a buzz of words as I am pulled past fireplace after fireplace, from city to city. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I land in a fireplace that I've known since I was born.

As I step out, I notice the room is dark. I look around my living room, but the darkness is total; not the darkness of night, but the darkness of fear and death. Slowly, I pull out my wand. So much for the restriction of under-aged magic. "Lumos."

The tip of my wand is lit, but it sheds little light into the unholy darkness that has overtaken my childhood home. All that I can see in the small circle of light is carpet, worn from age and use. But, at the very edge, there is a shadow. As I walk to the strange shape, I grow anxious; something is wrong, terribly wrong.

My small circle of light shines onto the strange shape and my scream fills the strangely dark night. I can see darkness at the edges of my vision, and I give myself up to it, praying that it will keep me forever, save me from this strange ruse of fate.

~~HG~~

The sun had just risen over Hogwarts when two boys burst into the headmaster's office. Two heads snapped up as the door banged against the wall, one covered in white flowing hair and the other in black greasy locks. The two boys collapsed against the wall nearest the door, trying to regain their breath.

"Potter! What is the meaning of this? Barging into the Headmaster's office without permission? I should give you both detentions!" The dark haired man snapped, but both boys ignored him.

"Headmaster, sir, where is Hermione? She didn't come back to the dorms last night!" Despite his breathlessness, the concern was evident in his voice.

A small frown crossed both of the adult's faces. A quick glance at the Headmaster confirmed Harry Potter's worst fear. They didn't know.

"I sent her to talk to her parents last night. Are you absolutely sure she is not in her dorm?" Both boys nodded at the Headmaster's question. "Severus, go to her house and retrieve her. If she is not there for some reason, report back here immediately."

The black haired man looked at the Headmaster. "You want me to go rescue the know-it-all from her own house?"

The annoyance and authority in the headmaster's voice was unmistakable. "Go, Severus, now. Use my fireplace."

Agitation evident in his every move, Severus Snape walked into the backroom of the Headmaster's office, the same room Hermione Granger had stood in the night before. After a moment's pause, the man grabbed a handful of Floo powder and stepped into the fireplace. Throwing the powder down, he practically growled, "Granger Residence," before he was hurtled from the fireplace.

All that he saw were flashes of light as he was jolted from place to place until finally reaching his destination. As he stepped out, he was engulfed in darkness.

"Lumos!" The light from the end of his wand erupted out like a train that hurtles down a track, despite the darkness that held the room in its grip. Immediately, he was greeted by the sight of Hermione Granger collapsed motionlessly at his feet.

A/N: Thanks for sticking with me. I hope you enjoyed the second installment. As always, reviews are most welcome!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Please see my heartfelt apology for the delay at the end of this chapter! And now, on to the much over-due story…

~~FH~~

Severus Snape considered himself to be a man of consummate control and knowledge. He had seen horrors that would cause most people to spend the rest of their lives in therapy, or worse, and he had never batted an eye. However, seeing the Hogwarts Head Girls' body sprawled on the sitting room floor of what appeared to have been a rather cozy suburban Muggle home caused Severus Snape to feel incredibly uneasy.

Maybe it was the dark pools of blood surrounding the two mangled bodies in front of the most hideous chintz couch he could recall ever seeing that made his breath catch. Perhaps it was the simple knowledge that those bodies were lying in a brightly lit, sunny room where his future apprentice had grown up. Or, maybe it was that after all this time, the pain he inflicted on others was going to be inflicted on him. Because, against all odds, Severus Snape suddenly felt very guilty over the deaths of two people he had never seen in his life.

That's not to say that he didn't feel any remorse about the murders and chaos that he had committed after his horrible choices as a young man. Severus knew that the only reason he still lived was to be a servant to Albus Dumbledore's whim in a futile effort at redemption. Currently that servitude took the form of teacher to imbecilic children and spy for the Order of the Phoenix and, soon, that slavery would also include Hermione Granger as his apprentice. However, he had no illusions about his life path. Severus Snape knew in the depths of his bones that once this war was finally finished that he would no longer have a place in this world.

With a mental sigh, Severus shook out of his morose thoughts and returned to acting in the decisive manner to which he was accustomed. He cast several quick detection spells to ensure that no one was hiding in the shadows and then moved to the side of Hermione Granger. Placing his fingers on her jugular he was relieved to feel that the girl's heart was still beating. He couldn't immediately tell what had caused the girl to be lying on the floor but it wasn't anything imminently threatening to her life.

Turning his attention to the bodies on the floor, Severus hoped that the Granger girl wouldn't wake before he'd managed to remove her parents' bodies and blood. He knew that women tended to begin crying and screaming when they saw blood and the bodies were her parents' so her reaction would probably be even worse than he could imagine. And, above all else, Severus Snape hated to deal with the emotions of women.

A few quick movements with his wand ensured all of the blood from the sitting room was gone. Without the three bodies sprawled about, the room would appear cheery and normal; somewhere Severus imagined that most anyone would want to live. Another swish saw the curtains closed to the outside world, drastically dimming the room as the sun was blocked from utilizing the room as its own personal playground. There was no reason for nosy neighbors to be peer in and see what was going on within the Granger home.

Finally, and with some reluctance, Severus moved both of the bodies with him to the fireplace where he stepped into the newly-tinted green flames and set off to the Hogwart's Hospital Wing.

~~FH~~

I slowly stirred from sleep, idly wondering why I felt as though all of the Gryffindor first years had suddenly decided to use me as a trampoline. As I stretched, I realized that my body wasn't rubbing against the soft, burgundy sheets of my bed. I slowly opened my eyes and recognized the carpet of my parents' home. And then, the events of last night slowly crept into my surprisingly disorganized brain. I am not quite sure why I decided to take a nap on the carpet of my parents' living room but I know that I need to get back to Hogwarts soon or they would send a search party out for me. I really have been gone much too long.

With one last glance around the sitting room of my childhood home – I really can't remember if I told my parents about the apprenticeship, but surely I wouldn't have gone to sleep if I had not – I toss some floo powder into the fireplace and head back to the Headmaster's office.

Magical travel through the fireplaces of England really is one of the worst ways to get from place to place, in my opinion, but soon enough I am back at Hogwarts. Stepping out of the fireplace, I barely have time to notice that the Headmaster is not at his desk before I am being tackled to the floor by two overly-exuberant boys.

"Harry, Ron, get off! I was only gone over night!" I barely manage to get the words out as both boys attempt to squeeze every ounce of life out of my protesting body. Realizing that they are hurting me, my best friends finally let me up from the floor after another round of aggressive hugs.

I quickly make my way into one of the Headmaster's chairs before they decide to tackle me again. Honestly, as much as I love them, sometimes I wish that I had female best friends rather than these two boys. Yet, I can't help but realize that they were simply worried about me and expressing that worry in the best way they could. After all, boys really are very bad with emotions and my two best friends are particularly horrible at trying to express them.

As the boys finally sink into the chairs next to mine, I furtively glance around the room looking for Professor Dumbledore. After all, I need to go back to my parents' house since I just can't remember if I got their permission to be Professor Snape's apprentice or not. But, apparently Professor Dumbledore is out of his office this morning - which is rather odd since Harry and Ron were both here when I arrived.

"Harry, have you seen Professor Dumbledore this morning?" I ask, still glancing around the room to ensure that I did not miss him hiding somewhere.

"He rushed out of here about 10 minutes ago. He said he would be right back." I nod at Harry's answer. The Headmaster has many demands on his time, so it is simply ridiculous of me to expect that he would be in his office worried about my well-being just because I was gone over night. Especially since, he sent me to visit my parents in the first place. However, the more I think about last night, the more I realize that I simply can't remember anything after leaving the Headmaster's office to visit my parents. Slowly, a small sense of worry is starting to creep into my mind that something happened and I should very much remember what that something is.

A soft ticking noise in the corner draws my attention so I turn my attention to a large grandfather clock. I watch the slow movement of the clock's second hand as I wait for the Headmaster to reappear. In the background, I can hear the boys discussing some Quidditch something or other. As useless as I find the sport, I confess that I am rather relieved they're not pestering me with questions to which I have no answers.

Finally, after what seems like hours but was really just 5 minutes according to the clock, the Headmaster came back to his office. I watch mildly amused as he takes in the sight of Harry, Ron, and I sitting patiently in his chairs. He seems slightly surprised that I am in his office but I push the thought aside as I politely greet him.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, could you please excuse Miss Granger and I? I'm afraid that we need to have a discussion about her absence from the school last night." He used a very mild tone, so I do not believe for a second that I am actually in serious trouble but there's something about that request combined with all of the other strange things that have been happening in the last few days that bring that small thread of worry more strongly into my mind.

I am somewhat surprised at how quickly and quietly the boys leave the room, but then I look past the Headmaster. It seems that the boys had caught sight of the glowering black form of Professor Snape in the doorway before I did. I hear the door at the bottom of the Headmaster's staircase close before Professor Snape sweeps himself into the chair at my left. I cannot help but wonder why Professor Snape is here for this conversation but I take my cue from him and turn all of my attention to the Headmaster.

"Miss Granger, can you tell us what happened at your parents' home last night?"

I am somewhat disconcerted as I try to sort my memories into some semblance of order. After all, the Headmaster's request is entirely reasonable and I can feel Professor Snape's eyes boring into me as he impatiently waits for an answer. However, it seems like the more I try to remember about my visit last night, the less I actually can bring into my mind.

"No Headmaster, I do not remember. I know this is terribly inconvenient, but I am afraid that I need to visit my parents again to get their permission." I duck my head as I answer the question. I really am not living up to my reputation as brightest witch of my age if I can't even manage to remember a simple trip to ask my parents a question.

"That will not be necessary, Miss Granger." That sentence reaches my ears in the cold voice of my Potions professor. "They are -"

"Severus," Professor Dumbledore cuts off Professor Snape in an admonishing tone and suddenly I am absolutely certain that I do not want to hear the rest of what Professor Snape has to say. "Would you please excuse us? I think that this conversation should be held between Miss Granger and I."

I still have not looked up since my embarrassing confession earlier, but I do glance out of the corner of my eye and watch as Professor Snape leaves the office. The longer I sit here, the more certain I am that something is wrong and for some reason I really wish that Professor Snape had stayed. Probably because right now my brain is telling me that as long as he was here, the Headmaster could not tell me the news that has him sounding so serious. I am now entirely certain that the worry that has been at the back of my mind all morning is there for a reason and I am equally certain that I do not want to know what that reason is.

"Miss Granger," the Headmaster begins before he coughs slightly to clear his throat. If I didn't know better, I would say that the Headmaster is nervous about what he is about to say, which is entirely ridiculous because he never displayed any such nerves asking me to "save Professor Snape" as he put it. The feeling of tension in the room is growing with each passing moment and so I drag my eyes from my hands to actually look at Professor Dumbledore.

"Hermione, I really wish that it was not necessary for me to pass on this news. However, Professor Snape -"

Quickly, I cut the Headmaster off. "He has decided not to allow me to apprentice with him after all." The Headmaster seems rather startled at my rude interruption, but I continue on with a quick, tight smile. "It's alright, sir. I know that Professor Snape does not like me, I am sure that spending that much time with me would be torture for him." This whole speech comes out in a quiet, sad voice that I almost do not recognize as my own. Thankfully, the idea of the apprenticeship is very new to me. I had not yet set my heart on the wonderful opportunity, so knowing that Professor Snape has flatly refused to take me on only hurts a little bit, but not terribly much.

"Hermione that is not what I need to tell you. Your apprenticeship with Professor Snape is still arranged and only waiting for your signatures on a few scrolls that need to be officially filed with the Ministry." My heart leaps as I take in these words. However, the Headmaster is still looking exceptionally grave. "However, Hermione, I am terribly sorry to tell you that your parents were killed in attack at their house last night."

"No! That's not possible!" I am out of my chair without even realizing it. "I was just there last night. Everything was normal when I left this morning! I would know if they had been attacked!"

"Hermione, I know this is shocking news, but I am afraid that Professor Snape found them in their house this morning. I am so sorry for your loss, dear girl." But I am shaking my head and not listening. They couldn't possibly be dead. I woke up at their house this morning. Everything was completely normal! Nothing was out of place. And then I remember…

"The curtains were closed in the sitting room. My parents never close the curtains in the sitting room," I whisper with my back to Professor Dumbledore. I hear his robes rustle as he moves around the desk towards me but I do not react. My brain is frantically trying to remember talking to my parents last night, getting their permission to be Professor Snape's apprentice, or even sitting in the living room with them, anything. "But there wasn't any blood. Nothing was broken."

I turn to face Professor Dumbledore and I can feel hot tears streaming down my face as I deny what his face is telling me is very much the truth. "How can I not remember anything about visiting them?" Part of me is amazed that I can still whisper anything at all because that sense of worry from before has taken over my mind and I am now absolutely certain that all of this is true no matter how much I wish it were not.

"Hermione, I know this is terribly difficult. I know you must be in a lot of pain. I wish that I could make this all better for you. Professor Snape brought your parents to the Hospital Wing this morning, if you would like to see them." I stare at the Headmaster not really understanding what he is saying.

"My parents? Yes, please I want to see them." Maybe, just maybe this is some horrific joke. If I can just see with my own eyes that they are alive and well then everything will be alright.

I seize onto this last thread of hope before following the Headmaster to the Hospital Wing. There is no one in the corridors, which I am incredibly thankful for. I have no idea what I look like, but I do not wish for anyone else to be witness to these events and I am fairly certain that I look a mess after sleeping on the sitting room floor.

Madame Pomfrey comes out of her office as the Headmaster and I walk into the Hospital Wing. I've never seen the mediwitch look anything but businesslike so I am somewhat taken aback at the sad look on her face despite everything that is going on. And then, we are walking into a separate ward. Madame Pomfrey slowly draws the white sheets down on the two beds in the room and my whole world is rapidly crashing down on me. My parents are lying on those beds and they are not breathing. They are so white – so, so incredibly white and somewhere in the back of my mind I realize that I am shaking my head in denial.

Then, suddenly I am running through the hallways of Hogwarts with no clear idea of where I am going – taking turns and staircases that I do not recognize. Finally, my lungs hurt so bad that I have to stop. I have no idea where I am but I do not particularly care. My parents are dead and I had no idea. My parents are dead and I was at their house last night – I should have saved them. I am crying so much now that I cannot even breathe and then my mind seizes on the one question that I really should have asked much sooner.

"My parents are dead. Why am I alive?" I whisper into the empty space of the room I have taken refuge in. Slowly I slide down the cold stone wall that I am leaning against and give myself completely over to my grief.

~~FH~~

A/N: I am terribly sorry for the four year pause in this fic! However, I am back and will continue to write this story. However, I have lost most of what I had previously written due to a crashed computer so it may take me a little while longer to get this fic out than originally planned (in addition to the 4 year hiatus).

For any of you that are still reading, by some miracle, or to any new readers, I hope that you like this newest chapter and that you will continue to read this story. It is absolutely my intention to finish this journey with you.

I love reviews! They keep the muses motivated! And if you find any errors, please let me know as I do not have a beta!


	4. Chapter 4

I'm sitting in an alcove somewhere in Hogwarts but I have no idea where. I think it's been hours since I ran out of the Hospital Wing – maybe it has only been minutes. There aren't any windows around me, all I can see is stone. No tapestries or paintings either. I hope that means no one can find me because right now I desperately do not want to be found. I just want to sit here alone and cry.

My parents are dead. It still doesn't seem real, but the idea keeps running in circles around my mind. The only reprieve I get from the thought is when I see their bodies on the back of my eyelids. I want to laugh at this idea – laugh at the thought that haunting images are a reprieve from haunting thoughts but all that comes out is a choked sob before more tears come streaming down my face. Some part of me is amazed that there's enough moisture left in my body for tears to still be falling, but it's a very small part that I can easily ignore right now. Besides, it doesn't matter if there are tears or just dry sobs – my parents are still dead. They were still brutally murdered by Death Eaters in their own home. I am still all alone in the world.

Slowly I realize that my heart rate is slowing down a little although the tears are still running down my face. I wonder if the tears will just keep coming and coming for the rest of my life. Maybe if I don't drink anything I can join my parents in the Hospital Wing. Dehydration would be such a mundane way to die. I wonder, would hurt very much to have all the fluids from your body slowly dry up? Would Professor Dumbledore even be surprised to see my still form next to those of my parents?

My parents – my loving, crazy, quirky, amazing parents, lying in the Hospital Wing under that cold white sheet. It just isn't right. They're supposed to be smiling and holding hands, hugging me when I come home on breaks and encouraging me in letters brought by a rented owl. There's supposed to be life in those limbs I saw, not stiffness and death. My mind shies away from that word. It doesn't make sense for me to avoid that word. Wasn't I just contemplating my own death? Wasn't I just wishing tojoin them? Maybe I'll just go crazy and I can forget that they're not here anymore.

The tears are back as I choke on my heart in my throat again. I guess I hadn't calmed down at all, despite my slowed heart beat from earlier. Dear Merlin, am I supposed to feel something right now? Because all I feel is empty. I should be feeling pain, right? Or despair or denial maybe? But all I feel is nothing. All I feel is a pounding heartbeat in my throat that must be mine. I wish I could escape from that heartbeat. Maybe if I focus on breathing I can force it away?

Slowly, through the tears I start to count my breaths. In – hold, out – hold. I repeat it over and over again, interspersed with my mantra from earlier: my parents are dead, my parents are dead, my parents are dead... But still, my heart is too loud and the mantra just keeps repeating in between the pounding noise. I'm screaming in my head for it to go away, slow down, be quieter – something. And then, I feel a tingle of my magic rushing through my body as I scream at my heart.

"SHUT UP just STOP!" and then I realize, I said it out loud and there's black rushing into my vision – and then nothing.

~FH~

"Severus, she's been gone for two hours, I need you to go look for her please." Albus is talking to me through the floo – asking me to go find that over dramatic Gryffindor when all I want to do is pretend like this whole horrible day never happened. My students would never believe it, but I do not enjoy imparting bad news to other people – particularly not about the gruesome deaths of their parents. Hermione Granger's parents – two more deaths in this horrible war that has been going on for most of my life. For the entire lives of my students. No I am not a cold, heartless bastard despite what the world thinks. I just don't have any emotions left. I've used them all up in the last twenty years.

"Albus, really, did it occur to you that maybe she wants to be alone? Her parents are dead," I can't help reminding him of the horror that is going on in the Head Girl's life. Sometimes Albus forgets that we can't all twinkle our eyes and look at the world through rose colored glasses. Some, like Miss Granger still have the capacity for emotions and histrionics and will exhibit those to the world. Others, like me simply don't have any feelings left and refuse to do anything to make the world think otherwise.

"Severus, despite her wishes, Miss Granger cannot be alone right now. We still do not know why her parents were killed and she may be in danger if she is all alone, even here in Hogwarts." There is a sad look about Albus's eyes as he mentions the danger that we are all in constantly. Although, honestly, is it not obvious why Miss Granger's parents were targeted?

"We don't know why her parents were killed? Really Albus, are you getting senile in your old age?" I ask the Headmaster rather derisively. "The Head Girl is the smartest witch to come through Hogwarts since my days as a student, she is a Muggleborn, and, in case the Dark Lord needed an additional reason, she's best friends with Harry Potter. Honestly, it is a miracle that they were not killed earlier or in an even more gruesome manner. In fact, I would say that their deaths were merciful."

"Regardless Severus, I need you to find her. She cannot be alone." I cannot keep the long-suffering sigh from escaping my lips. I know the sentiment is rather melodramatic but I cannot help but wonder why anytime the Golden Trio get into trouble they are unable to handle that Albus looks to me to resolve the issue. I start to argue with the Headmaster, to tell him to send Potter or Weasley out to look for their wayward friend but I know that I will go in the end anyways and this day has just been too long and horrible to continue to argue with Albus.

"Fine Albus, I will locate the girl. Where should I take her when I find her? The Hospital Wing seems like a very poor choice based on her earlier actions." I hope Albus can tell by my tone that I am not happy to be leaving the dark warmth of my chambers to search for the wayward Gryffindor.

"Perhaps it would be best if you convey her to her new chambers. After all her apprenticeship will begin tomorrow and she needs to settle in. Maybe the task will manage to keep her mind off the current state of affairs." I cannot help but scoff at the Headmaster's turn of phrase. State of affairs indeed. I nod my head once sharply then turn away from the fireplace to retrieve my teaching robes before I venture into the hallways to find Hermione Granger. As I swirl my robes onto my shoulders I stalk from my chambers to complete my latest mission – to find Hermione Granger once again. I am honestly getting tired of constantly needing to chase her down. Surely an eighteen year old witch is capable of taking care of her self? Albus seems to think otherwise.

I let my thoughts carry on as I begin to walk the halls of Hogwarts at my usual brisk pace. She must be in some unused corner of the castle if Albus needs me to locate her. In Miss Granger's current mental state the other students would be aware of where she was even if they happened to be cruel enough to ignore the distraught girl. The way she left the Hospital Wing two hours ago, I doubt that she has managed to get a grip on her emotions and stopped displaying her weakness to the world. Merlin, I hope this search does not take too long.

My feet carry me through the lesser known hallways of Hogwarts as I listen for the sounds of a sobbing, hysterical female. I am looking at every shade variance of every shadow that I come across. If she is trying to hide from me, I will find her and at least get her to the safety of her new rooms. As much as I hate to admit it, Albus is right that Miss Granger is not safe in the corridors of Hogwarts. If her parents have been targeted, it is only a matter of time before the Dark Lord decides that she will be the next to fall victim to the this pointless, interminable hostility.

I am pulled away from my dark thoughts by the sight of black material splayed across the flagstones of the upcoming corner. I draw my wand ready to threaten any students who are playing juvenile tricks on their classmates, all the while hoping that the unmoving material means I have finally located the wayward Miss Granger. Silently I slip around the corner and take in the unmoving form of Miss Granger. Without warning, the images of her dead parents flash through my mind and I spare a moment to hope Miss Granger has not joined them in death.

Kneeling next to her motionless body, I glance around the hallway to make sure that there is no immediate danger. Putting two fingers to her jugular I can barely feel a pulse. It is slow, almost deadly slow. I turn her on her back to look for any signs of harm but she almost appears to be sleeping. If I had not felt her pulse I would never have known that there was anything wrong with Miss Granger. Perhaps her weak pulse is simply due to physical and emotional exhaustion but I cannot help but sense that there is something else that caused her collapse.

Slowly, I pick up her limp form in my arms and start off for her new chambers. There is nothing visibly wrong with her and I cannot simply leave her lying in the hallway. Perhaps I should call Poppy when I get to Miss Granger's rooms just to be sure that she is in fact going to live through the night.

~FH~

A/N: I know this chapter is terribly short but I needed these scenes for transition and I did not want to break up the next events over multiple chapters. I hope the story is still living up to your expectations. Please review if you like what you are reading! Or even if you do not like it. I appreciate any and all feedback that my readers will give me. It is your reviews that keep me motivated to continue this story!

Additionally, I am currently without a beta reader so any errors that you see, please let me know so that I can fix them. I have read through this twice before I posted it, but there are always mistakes that slip through the cracks.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters you see in this story.

~~FH~~

She's still passed out, sprawled on her bed like some sort of fallen angel. Albus would never let me forget that I called her that if he knew. But the characterization fits. She is so terribly pale as she lies on the chocolate brown blanket on her bed. If I did not know any better, I would swear that she had lost pints of blood in the last hour. Thankfully Poppy has just finished checking on the girl and reassured Albus that she will be fine with some rest. None of us know why she passed out earlier – I suppose that means it will be up to me to find out as her new caretaker.

I still cannot believe that the Headmaster had the audacity to place this child into my care. I have known the old coot long enough to suspect that he has some hidden agenda behind supporting this apprenticeship, though currently I have no idea what it is. I suppose the original reasons no longer matter as they have been superseded by the death of her parents. Regardless, as I am sure that Albus will remind me, I am now responsible for this girl for the next four years. I wish I could say I was looking forward to the experience.

The swish of Miss Granger moving on the bed shakes me from my repetitive thoughts – it is not as if I have not gone through these same thoughts for the last hour as I watched Poppy hover over the unconscious girl. I stalk from my new apprentice's room, realizing that I have been staring at her unmoving form for far too long. I suppose we will not be starting her apprenticeship tomorrow since as Poppy has ordered her to bed rest for the next two days. It seems that our resident Mediwitch is concerned that Miss Granger might have some heart damage. Which is absolutely ridiculous – a girl her age does not have heart conditions nor does grief cause them suddenly. If it did, I would not be standing here still.

As I continue to allow my thoughts to roam through plans for the Granger girl and how I am going to teach her around my already full class load, I go through the familiar and repetitive steps of brewing a cup of tea. Even the slowly growing smell is enough to help me focus on the tasks at hand. Miss Granger is stable for the night and should be sleeping through the night and I have finished all my grading for the evening. Since Albus has ordered me to stay in my rooms in case of any sudden change in Miss Granger, I suppose that means that I can get some reading done in the peace and quiet. Merlin knows I should take advantage of it now, living with a young girl is sure to prevent me from getting any sort of quiet time in my life for the next four years.

Settling into my favorite armchair, I pick up the book I have been reading from the side table and slowly lose myself in the gentle soothing of my tea and the comfort of a good book. I am certain that my students would be appalled to know that their feared Potion's Master enjoys anything about life.

~~FH~~

The sun coming through the window is falling across my eyes, slowly returning me to the land of the living. The sheets feel nothing like the maroon sheets that adorn my bed in Gryffindor Tower and as I stretch I realize that this is not my usual twin four poster. Fighting back a sense of panic as I realize I have no idea where I am, I huddle into a small ball and take stock of my situation. As I struggle to slow down my breathing and determine where I am, I slowly open my eyes and take in my surroundings. The lush sheets that I am buried in are a deep chocolate brown color topped my a midnight blue duvet that must be stuffed with goose feathers based on how soft and warm it is. The sun is drifting in through windows covered by chocolate brown sheers. Slowly, as my mind begins to sort itself out I realize this must be my new quarters with Professor Snape. Which also means that two windows showing a gorgeous view of the mountains around Hogwarts must be enchanted.

As I slowly get out of bed and begin to make my way around the room, my mind worries away at how I arrived in this room last night. Every time I try to pinpoint exactly what happened all I come away with is this sense of black. Still struggling with my questions, I walk over to the desk located along the wall opposite my bed. All of my school materials – scrolls, ink, quills, everything – has been moved onto the beautiful mahogany desk in the exact same layout as it had been in my Head Girl's rooms I previously occupied. The desk is surrounded by bookshelves that have already been filled with my collection of books. As I run my hands along the familiar titles, I notice several unfamiliar spines among the collection. I will have to ask Professor Snape later, but I believe he has already supplied me with the first required readings of my apprenticeship. Maybe he is not as adverse to teaching me as I had originally thought.

Continuing my circle around the room I find that the wardrobe already has all of my clothes hung up and neatly awaiting me. My Gryffindor robes are not there though. A small pang runs through me as I realize that I will no longer be wearing them once I finish taking my NEWTs. It is odd though that the house elves have removed them from my everyday clothes before I am officially no longer a student. Perhaps Professor Dumbledore can explain what happened later. Mentally I add the missing robes to my growing list of questions that waking up in this room has brought about. On the opposite side of the closed door, which I assume leads to some sort of living quarters and maybe a bathroom, is a shelf.

Standing in front of the shelf, I notice that all of my most treasured possessions have been set out on display. There is the picture of Harry, Ron, and I after the first Gryffindor quidditch game our First Year and another of us taken over this last summer at The Burrow. We all look so happy and a small smile finds its way onto my face as I watch Harry and Ron squeeze me into a big hug in the later of the two pictures. Next to the frames sit a few items that I have collected over the years from my travel with my parents. And there, sitting on the other end of the shelf, is a picture of my parents and I standing in our family room the summer after Third Year. As I take in the details of their smiling faces, something horrible begins to creep into the back of my mind. A niggling sense of worry that refuses to go away. Taking the picture off the shelf, I return to the bed and sit there staring at the faces of my parents, chasing the thought in the back of my head.

And then, so suddenly that I am entirely unprepared for the pain, I remember everything that has happened over the last forty-eight hours. Dumbledore's request, visiting my parents – finding them dead. And all of the blood, their lifeless faces as they lay so absolutely still in our living room. Returning to Hogwarts and seeing their too pale faces in the Hospital Wing. The picture frame slips from my suddenly limp fingers as a strange noise fills the air. I realize that I am whimpering as fight back more tears. Pulling myself into as small of a ball as I can manage, I close my eyes against the sun and let the tears spill.

Much later, I have finally run out of tears. I have completely lost track of time as I cried over my parents once more. Slowly, I realize that I have to get out of this room and do something, anything to escape the pain. As I slip off of the bed again, I step on the picture frame that I dropped earlier and I hear the glass crack. I can feel small shards pressing into my foot as I stand from the bed but I do not care. I pick up the picture and carry it with me, the sharp edges of the glass pressing into my fingers as I run them over the faces of my mother and father. Taking the picture with me, I walk into the adjoining room – the first time that I see the remainder of my new home.

The room is shadowy but filled with warm earth tones and I instantly feel a sort of comfortable presence being in the room. I wander about the room, taking in the bookshelves which cover the two solid walls and the closed doors that lead into other parts of this new dungeon domain. Knowing that I am invading Snape's personal space, I refrain from opening any of the other doors even though my curiosity is peaked. As thoughts of Snape invade my consciousness, I let my feet lead me to couch which faces the cold, empty fireplace.

Curling my feet underneath my bottom, I settle onto the couch and run my fingers over the broken glass as I think about my new relationship with Professor Snape. With everything else that has been happening in my life, the actual dynamic of our future interactions has not received much of my attention but now I allow my mind to run over the drastic changes that are about to come in that relationship. I am living in his quarter's for Merlin's sake! Who would have thought that any student, yet alone a know-it-all Gryffindor like myself, would be allowed to ever see the inside of Professor Snape's private retreat?

In many ways, the man is such a mystery to me. He's so harsh and exacting most of the time. His temper is formidable, bordering on scary more often than not. Obviously, he does not want anyone to get close to him, to get to know him, or to understand him. But, Professor Dumbledore's plea for my help makes me believe that maybe Professor Snape is not as happy in his solitude as he wants everyone to think. Maybe he really does need someone in his life. I let out an involuntary snort as I realize that my thoughts make Snape sound like some sort of lost puppy that needs my help. Ron and Harry would call him my new project if they knew what I was doing – just like when I decided to free the house elves and all of those times I tried to get the two boys to care about their schoolwork.

As I allow my mind to drift from thoughts of my surly professor, I find my eyes drawn to the fireplace. Inside I watch the play of the flames as they lick the ancient stones of the castle. There is a certain beauty and serenity to the flames. As I watch the jump and the play of the fire, I feel myself begin to relax for the first time in days. All of the horrors slowly slip out of my mind and there is nothing but me and the flames as I relax on the couch. Slowly, ever so slowly I feel myself sink into a trance-like state. I am no longer Hermione Granger, orphan and apprentice, I am the flames dancing in the fire.

As my reality sinks into the dancing flames, I rub my fingers along the pieces of glass in the frame that I am still holding. I do not even realize that the glass is cutting my finger tips deeper and deeper with each passing stroke. Gradually I slow my breathing to match the rhythm of my stroking, the rhythm of the flames as the slowly lap at the stones which contain them. And slowly I allow the sleep to take me, the first dreamless sleep I have had since Professor Dumbledore asked for my help in saving Professor Snape.

~~FH~~

A/N: Sorry for yet another short update. My life has been in a little chaos recently as a move that was supposed to happen in March got pushed all the way to July. This chapter was difficult for me to write in many ways as it was a place where I had to decide exactly how dark of a turn I wanted this story to take. Once I get settled into my new home, hopefully updates can be more regular. I hope you all enjoyed this short peek back into the life of Hermione and Severus in my little story. Thank you again for reading! As always, all reviews are welcome. (Oh, and I recently learned how to respond to reviews, so I will be responding to all signed reviews that you leave!)


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